If you were wondering....

why i have been so depressed.

its because of one simple thing:



I GOT MY HEART BROKEN AGAIN.

and it seems as if the shorter i know them, the more i get attatched, and the harder it hurts.

Hello World!

Ive been thinking differently about life alot since ive last posted.
I havent talked to the ex in so long i dont even remember anything about him.
I moved on and found a new crush. [in which no one shall know]

But instead of being depressed all the time. Im just having little spells of it.
It kinda sucks though, the insecurity and negativity comes and goes, but everytime it comes back it seems to grow.
Perferably, i wish it would just go.
People seem to say all the time, "just make it go! you have the power to do that!" but i just cant... and i dont know why. it seems to come second nature to me somehow.

What made me feel a little better though.... When i was tellin someone that ppl have been calling me ugly behind my back so much that i am starting to believe it.
You know what they said...?

"Oh come on Toni... That's not true. And you know it. You could have it way worse!"

And they said it with such meaning. (:

Also... today my dad randomly came in and gave me a buttload of flowers!! [ive always loved getting them, and its been so long since i have gotten any.] And it made me kind of better.


But there is some major drama that popped up yesterday that is kinda hard to get over. so at this point.... its just a waiting process.

*updateeee: right when that "person" said that love sucks and they wish i could find that one prince guy.... the song love stinks came on.... but then first date. Why must everything be sooo confusing?!?!!?!?!?!?*

I feel like just curling up in a ball and crying it all out.... but it doesnt work anymore! it just makes things worse.

HAHA.

i humor myself.


its funny how i waste so much time on things that have no chance, and actually (get this) BE HAPPY. isnt that horrific?

ME....HAPPY?


it just doesnt go together anymore.